Selfish thought

It has been around a month since I came back to Penang
Once I came back to Penang,
life is always about you she him them and never ME !
I wish I could do something for myself, yea ... it's a selfish thought
but ...
I was hoping this trip back was more of myself then you people out there
but ... I guess I'm wrong
No matter how much I had change, I will still have to be the E-Maine who does not say NO ey.
Even if you were the one who make up the whole thing but I'm still to blame for whatsoever had happen right ?
Even when I was just merely giving some suggestion in the end I have to swollow the whole project down my throat right ?
Even when I say I would like to stay home and relax, I still have to go out right ?
Being home feels like satisfying others instead of myself
I just have to learn to adapt to being like that in UK, and being another that in M'sia.
It's going to be hard, but I just have to make it.
I really need to open out more instead of scolding inside and making myself tired ...
I hate lying and I hate suprises
I don't wanna make anymore suprises anymore
So damn SICK of it already !!!!