I'm Not Happy At All

My life feels like it is going downhill already ...
Family conflict , the dislike towards coursemates , the unadjustment to new surroundings , the lack of freedom ...
All this just make me hate my life as all of this has become my life already ...
I don't know what to do to make myself adjust ... I just feel that I understand Yue Pei's feeling when she is in NS saying she can't adjust ...
Life at college is not bad but just I realise there are more places and people that I prefer to be there with ...
The family conflict makes me hate my relatives ... They are all adults but bickering as if they were 5 years old and always trying to pull me in to give them opinions ... Why must I be in the middle of everything ? Why ?!?!?!?
The dislike towards some coursemates are because HE is affecting my studies so badly and it is only the 2nd week ... *sigh* ... He is not only annoying me but also annoying the others ... Usually at high school , I would just start scolding him while throwing my temper but now I have to tolerate cause I'm scared my coursemates can't understand my feelings ... I don't feel me ... I really don't ... =(
To adjust I have to change but the changes made makes me fake which make me feel sad and tired ...
I hope time would pass quickly enough to make me adjust in a more happier way so I can once again feel real

-maine.